I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize