i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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