Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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