Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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