you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
