So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
