I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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