i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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