I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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