just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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