That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
