Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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