This is not my ceiling
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
