Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
