This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
