If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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