When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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