It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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