He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize