thus making me awesome and them whores
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize