can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
