Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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