the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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