Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
