I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
