I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
