Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
