I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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