even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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