Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
please come you make the beer taste better
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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