I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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