have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
