So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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