I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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