Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
