Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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