I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
