Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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