I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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