Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
