i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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