there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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