he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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