We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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