I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
