Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
