Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
