come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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