I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
