Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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