If that was your dad, he is hot
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
