the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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