Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Porn is love you can see.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
tonight lets celebrate not being married
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
