you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
there was a trapeze. enough said
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There r osticjed everywhere
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize