I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
