i would punch a child for taco bell
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
