What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
