You work out of a Hotel?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
