yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
