Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
