Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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