We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
