making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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