pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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